Five Reasons Tom Hiddleston should be cast as Theon Greyjoy

Image I decided, after the terrible earnestness of my last post, to do something fun and light (if not any less earnest). So I’m going to present you five reasons why my favourite actor in the world should have played my favourite character in Westeros. If you agree with me by the end of this post, join me in writing a strongly-worded letter to David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, the showrunners of HBO’s Game of Thrones.

Alternately, you could recommend me to Buzzfeed. Kthanx.

Tom Hiddleston is on his way to becoming a household name, thanks to his stint as Loki in the Marvel franchise. The beauty of Tom lies not only in his flawless portrayal of a malcontent demi-god, but his ability to quote Shakespeare on demand and bring to life quasi-historical figures like Henry V. And have you heard him read poetry?

Basically, I think Tom could play anyone. And the idea of him playing Theon? Exquisite.

1)      He knows how to be annoyingly sassy

 This was one of the first things that I liked about Theon. He’s smart and good looking and he knows it, and that drives people crazy. He takes risks and gets berated for it; recall how he shot the wildling holding Bran in A Game of Thrones and got yelled at by Robb for his hasty action. And his ever-present smirk-smile gives Jon and Ramsay both the heebie-jeebies. Ramsay retaliates by smashing his teeth, ensuring that Theon isn’t going to be smiling prettily anymore.

 And we all know that Tom can do a damn good smirk.

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Oh, yeah.

 

2)      He knows his way with a weapon

 Having played Shakespeare’s Henry V and Captain Nicholls in War Horse, Tom presumably knows his way around a battlefield. He’s done some swordplay and can swing a blade as well as Alfie Allen, I would assume, if not better. And yes, I know Theon uses a bow and arrow. Can’t you just see Tom drawing one as imperiously as he commands a crowd to kneel?

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That is a whole lot of regal.

 

3)      He’s played characters with Daddy issues.

 Read: Loki. And he does it so well. That perfect blend of defiance and vulnerability. He knows how to act abandoned and how to lash back. Admitted, Theon does it a lot less gracefully than Loki, but oh well, one’s a god.

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Heartbreak.

 

4)      He can do the bromance

 

Oh come now, we all know Theon and Robb have the greatest bromance in ASoIaF, not Jon and Robb. ‘Am I your brother, now and always?’ Theon demands when he swears loyalty to Robb, and with one curt nod, Robb affirms it.

Too bad things get so messed up later.

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That is an actual poster. There was no morphing.

 

Loki and Thor have a good relationship too, or did. This deleted scene from the first movie certainly seems to indicate that Loki bears his older brother no ill will. If only those other feelings hadn’t swum up…

 

5)      Because I really, really want to hear what he’d make of that epic line.

 ‘I wanted to be one of them.’

 I feel teary already.

Oh Tom. If only you’d been hanging around that studio. I will console myself with the idea that in a perfect, parallel universe, you are doing a great job as poor, misunderstood Theon Greyjoy.

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We will always have our dreams.

 

 

 

 

Welcome back to Westeros: ‘Valar Dohaeris’

So I finally managed to watch Episode 1 of Season 3 of GOT yesterday. I trekked across the city to a friend’s house, where we dimmed the lights, pulled out the peppermint (yes, for some absurd reason, I wanted to watch Game of Thrones with PEPPERMINT by my side) and hurled a beautiful print onto a big TV screen. Such a change from watching it on a laptop, which, though bigger than many laptop screens I’ve seen, still does not give the kind of awe-inspiring experience that a TV screen can generate.
Now that I’ve built the atmosphere, allow me to share my thoughts on the episode:
I liked it. I wouldn’t say I LOVED it, mostly because nothing much really HAPPENED and the music was definitely not at its peak (I am partial to Theon’s theme), and the end seemed a little ‘eh’, okay. But it was good to see some of my favourite characters back on screen after what feels like ages.
‘Valar Dohaeris’ starts with a puffing Samwell Tarly running through a light blizzard, no doubt trying to get as far as he can from (what we presume) to be the aftermath of the battle we saw about to take place at the end of the season finale (White Walkers vs The Night’s Watch). Speaking of this battle, I was a little disappointed that they took the practical way out and left it to our imaginations. Sam rather fortuitously finds Mormont and the rest of the band, only to confess to them that he failed at his ‘one job’- the send out ravens to the lords of Westeros, telling them that peril draws nearer as the winds turn colder. Mormont caps off this conversation (and bit of the episode) with the melodramatic but nonetheless true statement that unless the Night’s Watch warns the world of what is coming, ‘everyone you know will be dead!’
Lovely beginning, wouldn’t you say?

Peter Dinklage plays up Tyrion's vulernable, lonely side.

Peter Dinklage plays up Tyrion’s vulernable, lonely side.

We then move on to Tyrion, who is still in his lonely, dark chamber (he has been ousted from his Hand position), checking himself out in a mirror. Cersei pays him a none-too-friendly visit, where the brother and sister barely manage to conceal their mutual antipathy and distrust. Cersei is nervous about Tyrion talking to their father and demands to know why on earth he would want to. Is he planning to tell Tywin any ‘lies’ that might damage her? Tyrion helpfully points out that it ‘isn’t slander if it’s true’ and is then left in peace. Parallel to and companion to this interaction is a scene with Bronn the sellsword, ‘the upjumped cut throat’ who has developed a taste for the ‘finer things in life’ and gives us a chance for some frontal female nudity. It wouldn’t be GOT without a whorehouse scene after all, would it?
Then there are Davos and Robb Stark scenes–the former being rescued and deposited (against his friend Salladhor Saan’s will) on Dragonstone, where a beaten Stannis huddles and ‘licks his wounds’ in the company of Melisandre. Davos speaks up against her when she delivers one barb too many (‘death by fire is the purest death’, she croons to him–this after Davos has seen his son burn before his eyes on the Blackwater) and is thrown into prison for his pains. Not the best welcome home.
Robb and his minions, for whom Roose Bolton has unaccountably become spokesperson, turn up at a deserted Harrenhal, where scores of Northmen have been slaughtered for no apparent reason. To remind us that Catelyn is still in his bad graces, he demands that guards escort her to a ‘room that may serve as a cell’. Talisa the Volantene finds a living man among the heaps of dead and revives him with her ever-handy water pouch. He gasps out that his name is Qybrun.
Not what I was expecting, but it should be interesting to see how they spin this.</p>
<p> Now come two of the best scenes in the episode–Sansa and Shae play an ‘imagining game’ on the pier, guessing where various ships are going and why. When Shae attempts to insert some truth into the game, Sansa stops her, saying that the ‘truth is either terrible or boring’. That’s a great line, and a view of Sansa’s face shows us how she’s changed- she’s sullen looking and there’s a growing light of cynicism in her eyes. As she tells Lord Baelish later, when he offers her help, ‘I’m a terrible liar’. Is she though, really? Somehow with the new face I can’t believe it. She’s all grown up.
Shae and Ros have a bit of a chat while Baelish is crooning to Sansa about her mother (this reminded me so much of School of Thrones. The actor got Baelish spot on.). Ros remarks that ‘it’s not easy for girls like us’, pointing out how well they’ve done for themselves. Ros then asks Shae to look out for Sansa, which was quite touching. These women who have nothing, or have started with nothing, seem to care more genuinely for the girl than anyone in her social station does. Ros has always been portrayed as the wholesome, good-hearted woman, the ‘prostitute with a heart of gold’, so I guess it doesn’t come as a surprise that she’s probably one of the few in the entire series with her heart in the right place. Shae however…I’m not so sure.
While on the subject of Sansa, I should mention Margaery Tyrell, a woman who knows just how to play the masses. Lady Tyrell visits an orphanage in the filthy lanes of Fleabottom, the very area where the royal entourage was attacked and Sansa nearly raped last season. Here, Margaery plays the politician to the hilt, winning the hearts and smiles of young children via GOT merchandise (you can bet those soldier dolls are going to be hitting the shelves soon) and stories about the importance of their fathers in the defence of the city (these are the kids whose dads fell defending King Joffrey’s claim). It is very sweet, but one can’t help but think that Margaery is just being a smart politician. Coming after Ros’s simple request to Shae, this appears fake and contrived. The point, I suppose.
There is one person at least who is leery of Margaery’s ‘niceness’, and that’s Cersei. She warns the pretty young thing that she may need to start putting some ‘metalwork’ on her dresses once she gets more familiar with King’s Landing. Margaery acts sweet and optimistic and generally a little nauseating, but Cersei is ‘put in her place’ by her son who, it’s obvious, is spiraling far out of her lioness’ claws. Not too long before the mysterious prophecy comes into play for the Queen, then.

No, Margaery wasn’t the other ‘best’ scene that I mentioned. That honour goes to Tyrion’s conversation with Tywin, where the latter hurls his request for his ‘rights’ to Casterly Rock in his slashed face and tells him that ‘every day’ he sees him ‘waddling about’ is a punishment from the gods. Tyrion’s face loses the customary cockiness and brazenness he usually wears, in fact, the whole episode sees him scrounging for some semblance of the whip-smart attitude he normally displays. Tyrion is a man still reeling from the shock of battle, ingratitude from his family and his close shave with death. He suddenly seems to realize how very, very alone he is.

 

For the first time, I saw what others find so compelling in him. There is no DOUBT that Dinklage does a great job playing this multi-layered character. The changes that flit across his face in this one scene alone are sure to touch you. We see a man scrambling to reassemble his dignity, his bravado and seeming, for the first time, utterly utterly vulnerable.

 

The last scenes go to the Dragon Queen. Daenerys is stocking up on an army in Astapor and considering the ethical implications of buying eight thousand slaves to fight for her cause. On the up-side, the dragons are growing. On the down-side, they’re growing far too slowly for her liking. Hence the stopover in Slaver’s Bay and an interlude with the Unsullied, whose ability to bear pain is graphically demonstrated in a cringe-worthy scene.

 

Trouble never leaves the Dragon Queen alone for long, and she is soon prey to an assassination attempt while strolling in the marketplace (you’d think she would have learned to avoid these things by now). Luckily, the attempt is foiled by one Ser Barristan, who has finally emerged after a full season, this time with a beard. Jorah looks distinctly uncomfortable with this addition to the ‘Queen’s Guard’, but has the wisdom not to say anything. How long will ‘the Bold’ stay mum about his treachery? I’m guessing until the end of the season, at least.

 

All in all, a decent episode, if not the best. A good return to the land of Westeros. I’m looking forward to seeing  Arya, Jaime (oooh), Bran and Brienne next week (or is it this one?). And there’s always room for new faces at the feast–people do move aside so obligingly after all.

I got 25 minutes

Sorry, I should keep to house style and turn that into twenty five minutes.

I got twenty five minutes with the first episode of Season 3 of Game of Thrones. That’s it. But in that twenty five minutes I saw five different locations, thirteen recognizable characters (one new) and heard various strains of familiar melodies. In short, it was a jaunt into Westeros that left me stranded outside the walls of a keep (not telling you which), wondering what I had done to piss off the gods of technology.

I’m sure Neil Gaiman could come up with something. I will claim Muse credits for that novel. ‘Cyberspace Gods’, the third part of his deities-in-modern-life series.

What I saw was, of course, promising. There seemed to be a lot more talking than I’m used to in a TV show (um, given that I have filled my time between GOT seasons with a lot of Gossip Girl and reruns of the OC, this is not a surprise). There was, of course, the obligatory sexposition (which I very knowledgeably pointed out to my co-watcher), some screeching which could have come from either of the CGI-born (dragons or White Walkers), and pouty Jon Snow spouting profound and utterly spoofable lines.

I was home.

Now to just get through the hours until I can return my room, brew some Earl Grey in my trademark ‘Winter is Coming’ mug and hope the cyberspace gods have gotten over it, whatever ‘it’ was.

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Game of Thrones season 3: trailer

By now I’m pretty sure most of the youtube-viewing and GOT anticipating world has seen the trailer for the third season. It’s a melange of images and characters, and some intriguing glimpses of what is to come. Also, it’s got a heady soundtrack accompaniment in the form of Ms Mr’s ‘Bones’, which I’ve been listening to on repeat for the past two days.

The trailer throws up a hell of a lot of questions, even for someone who’s read the books and has a fair idea of what to expect.

-Who is the ‘old friend’ Varys is speaking to in the opening? Tyrion? Master Illyrio? Littlefinger? The second and third seem rather doubtful–it’s in now way been a ‘long time’ since he spoke to them, since we have Littlefinger’s and Varys’s infamous repartee in Season 2 and the eunuch is the one who stows Tyrion away in a room after the Battle of Blackwater Bay. So who is it?

-Is it Melisandre who speaks of ‘death’ coming for ‘everyone and everything’? It’s been a year since I watched Season 2 (eeks, the horror), so I’ve sort of forgotten what her voice sounds like. I mean to go through both previous seasons before the third one premieres, so maybe I’ll have an answer to this speaker by then. Unless, of course, it’s a new character. In that case I’ll hazard a guess at Meera Reed.

-Where was Theon? Oh, right. We didn’t get him in this book. But, but, they had so much to tie up from the previous one! Are they going to premiere the hell-made-flesh Bastard of Bolton in this season? I’m not sure I’ll want to watch those scenes, anyway.

-Of course we had a sneak peek of more Catelyn chasing Robb scenes. It’s a trademark. As is Bran’s shooting an arrow.

-Where were Sansa and Arya? I can’t believe I got to point 4 before I realized they had been missing. Not to mention Shae, Rickon, Osha and DAVOS.

Hell, at least we got a glimpse of a growing dragon. And Dany has SHIPS! Not too long before she meets Barristan and Strong Belwas then.

Cersei looks as lovely as ever. And yay! Brienne is going to kick some ass very, very soon!

For the record, I am not one of those who ships Brienne/Jaime. I like them as platonic partners in crime. Let’s not look for romance everywhere. We saw where that got us with a strong female character in Harry Potter (coughTonkscough).

Over all, I think HBO has been very parsimonious with revealing the new characters. Way to build up the anticipation.

Winter had better get here SOON.